Dating for cobat vets
This article is reprinted with permission from Ray Scurfield “The Do’s and Do Not’s for Spouses and Partners of Combat Veterans” By Ray Scurfield The Do Not's• Do not say, “I understand,” or “I know you feel.” No, you don’t. You may know what it's like to hopethat if you could just ignore something festering inside you that it would eventually goaway. However, you may well understand from your own lifeexperience how it feels to not want to talk to anyone, or how it is to feel that no one canunderstand about something you have experienced.Seek help if you are hurting, whether or not your veteran partner does.• Do not push or insist that your vet talk about the war if he/she does not want to.It is too sacreda subject to attempt to pry the details out of someone.The “expertise” of the author, Jamie Perry, is clear: Although I did not serve in the military (I tried- they wouldn’t let me), I absorbed and experienced the pain and hardships they endured from the friendships I cultivated, from the yoga classes I instructed, and from the daily interactions where I looked for an insider’s glance into the military man’s life. First of all, protip: never say “I tried to join the military, they wouldn’t let me.” No one is impressed.It does, however, underlie the myth that it’s easy to join the military.Male Veterans with PTSD are more likely to report the following problems than Veterans without PTSD: Most of the research on PTSD in families has been done with female partners of male Veterans.The same problems can occur, though, when the person with PTSD is female.
Side note: Also, the veteran may be very concerned about “taking the lid off” of all the pent-upfeelings and memories about war that have been buried.
“Recalling the event, having nightmares, avoiding difficult feelings, hyper-vigilance, being kind of alert, all of these things are actually normal stress reactions in the acute phase.
PTSD is when these symptom clusters persist over time and they interfere with one’s functioning,” Troxel said.
For help with talking to a Veteran about getting needed care, you can contact VA's Coaching Into Care program: 1-888-823-7458.
PTSD can affect how couples get along with each other. In general, PTSD can have a negative effect on the whole family.