Dating someone in basic training

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He came home every 6 months for about 2 weeks at a time. I hated the army, I wanted him to quit, he wanted to quit, we fought a lot, but we never ever broke up (we wanted to get married but I had failed my senior year because I missed to much school, because I was extremely depressed) About 2 years into his career he got deployed, I was devastated, but I remained strong over the phone, I tried to be as supportive as possible. Soon after he injured his ankle during training, he broke his ankle, ultimately he got med boarded, and came home in 2007. In 2008 I started thinking about joining, he supported me, told me probably everything I need to know, answered all of my questions and I joined the army as a dental specialist September 2009. If I could give any advice it would be to remain strong in yourself, and remain strong for your soldier. He thought I was the coolest girl ever for knowing the words to a song few other girls would, and I simply thought he was amazing.

I could say that after that, the rest is history and we lived happily ever after from that moment on, but that would be lying. A few nights after he’d returned home from Basic Training, I had a dream that he’d come home where I ran up to him, surprised and ecstatic that he was back.

Luckily, I was “fit enough” to squeak by the PT test. If all of the Army were like Reception, nobody would enlist.

When we got off the bus at Fort Jackson, we were herded by a gaggle of angry, weary-looking Drill Sergeants into a large classroom.

Things got in the way, and we both dated other people and went on with our lives for 4 years, though we always remained friends. I told him about the dream, we began talking on a regular basis, and soon after, we started dating. It’s been almost a year since then, and he’s been deployed in Iraq for the past 9 months, but I don’t regret my decision, and I wouldn’t have my life any other way.

In the Spring of ’08, he joined the Army and went off to Ft Knox for basic training soon after. Everyone thought I was crazy for committing to someone who would be stationed halfway across the country, but he and I knew it was right. Sure, there are days that I’d rather not get out of bed, when I’m lonely and all I want to do is cry.

Now, this does NOT mean you should boss him around.

But he’ll probably appreciate it if you do a share of the date-planning.

At first, the plan was for him to do the reserves so that he wouldn’t be gone a lot. Tell us what you think in the boards: how do you deal with dating someone who’s in the military?

Curious as to what I was in for, and wanting some solid guidance, I went looking for advice on how to be a good Army girlfriend. However, in my own time as an Army girlfriend, I’ve come upon a few revelations of my own. Dating a soldier is a commitment, and not one to be taken lightly. Above all, talk to people who’ve lived it and ask them to be honest. If you’re not ready for to be an Army girlfriend and all that it entails, break it off. As soon as my guy used the g-word, I hit the keyboard and called my sister-in-law (retired Army wife extraordinaire). Soldiers work long hours that they have absolutely no control over. If you’re one of those girls who always needs a guy on her arm, get used to disappointment. You’ll have time for your friends, family, hobbies and work. And odds are, one of the reasons his time with you means so much to him is because it’s one of the few times he can get away from that life. My boyfriend and I have plenty to talk about, from video games to the funny cashier at the grocery store, and I never bring up the Army to any extent greater than asking him how his day went. If your man is ready to introduce you to the guys in his unit and/or regiment, it’s a big step.

What follows is some humble advice on how to cope with being the significant other of soldier. If you and your soldier are ready to enter a relationship, make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into. Both gave me a wealth of knowledge I otherwise would not have had. The time he has for you will be dictated by someone else entirely. Concentrate on these, and appreciate the time he’s allowed to have with you. And when he does let me in on the other things, I try to listen and not pry. Men who are stationed together are often closer than brothers. Don’t cling to your man like a backpack, and don’t emasculate him in front of his guys.

I remember looking up at the promotional GO ARMY signs on the walls in the yellow light, on my hands and toes, as the realization that I was in the Army washed over me.

In Reception, you stand in an array of formations and scream your name when asked to scream your name.

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