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If we wanted to read your profile, we'd have gone to it.An online dating message is not the same (thank GOD) as a job application. After all, what you write will directly impact that person’s impression of you—and whether they write back. To help answer that very question, we got five online daters to submit emails they’d sent to objects of their affection.

Then our panel of experts and peers weighed in with their opinions. S.: Some of these emails were successful, some weren’t... ) So embarrassing, I just knocked my coffee all over the place cause my cell phone was ringing and I was trying to type and grab it at the same time. A woman who reads Nabokov (I just finished Lolita), likes Al Green and is really attractive as well?I don't usually start off a post with the impact points right at the beginning.But I want to lay these out first -- because they're so vital to solid message writing -- and we'll get into the "whys" and the "hows" in a moment.I was going to write about something else today -- I have a couple of big-concept posts I've been meaning to write up and get around to -- but, heck, the last post I put up was a big-concept post so I figured let's have a quick breather from that and get something a little lighter up first. I've been all too guilty of this myself -- sending super-long messages.This topic came up as I got to an email from a reader. And what I found was that I was often disappointed -- I'd put all this time and effort into a monster of a message, and then... There are a bunch of lessons I eventually took away from those experiences that I'll share with you today.

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