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But the truth is the question has been coming my way for a long time and I’ve managed to dodge it. ” It seems to me that the question is loaded with that angsty appeal we learned when we were children and mom said it was time for bed, “Ah, mom!
My motivation to answer is impaled on the horns of a dilemma: do I, a married woman, pass you on to some one else with more “experience” for the answer OR do I tell you the truth which is undoubtedly not what you really want to hear in which case you may happily use my married status to disqualify the advice? One more book…one more page…one more sentence.” It is human nature to plead for what we have been told cannot—at this certain point in time—be ours. Can I look at ______…touch _______…just maybe I could ______….” It seems to me the question is wrought with you begging permission from me to wiggle past God’s truth about the sacred act of sex being confined to the marriage bed.
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While it would be nice if there were a caveat for those who never get married, that would deny the sanctity of the act of sex all together wouldn’t it?
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In part, this question is coming from women who’ve recently read Pulling Back The Shades, a candid look at erotica, intimacy, and the longings of a woman’s heart, which I co-authored with Dr Juli Slattery.